Getting to Willingness:
Releasing Resentment and Obligation
Living with resentment is like slogging through tar. It means you’re doing something you don’t want to do, something that is not your desire, you’re doing it against your will.
Will. What an interesting word that we have co-opted into willpower, pushing through. When the true power of your will is in your willingness, not pushing at all, but following your desire, following your heart. Happiness, peace and effectiveness come from willingness.
So – this ‘thing’ you are doing, that you resent as you are doing it. This ‘thing’ that’s eating your lunch…
You can either stop doing it, or find a way to jump on board with it.
Find where it matches a bigger desire, and move forward honoring that desire.
If you want to be happy and effective, it’s time to let go of the resentment.
The idea is to be wholehearted, either way. Wholehearted yes, or wholehearted no.
Either one is fine. It’s resentful half-hearted energy that kills your energy and your momentum.
Your part is to be honest about it and quit blaming circumstances for what you are resenting.
Simply own the fact that you made this choice.
The alternative is to say you’re doing is because someone else wants it, and so you’re obligated.
Obligation creates resentment.
Obligation says I have to do this thing because you did something for me that you didn’t want to do. So I owe you.
Or it says If I do this thing that I don’t want to do, someday you will have to do something you don’t want to do in return.
This does NOT mean you never do things for other people. Crazy! If you respect or love this person and honor the bond you have with them, a conscious, wholehearted appreciation for that bond will dispel any latent resentment. It’s not obligation. You are now coming from love. If you continue with resentment, it will actually hurt the bond.
Resentment is an energetic tie based on a mutual dishonoring of our desire.
When we move forward according to our desire, and bring our whole heart to our choices, everyone wins.
When we say “no” honestly, no one else becomes obligated.
When we say “yes” against our desire, others become obligated to say yes against their desire.
And bingo: Resentment.
Why does this matter so much?
Resentment lies behind all grudge behavior: the inability of people to work together, horrific world terrorism, the horrific inner terrorism of depression, addiction, and even auto-immune disorders.
Beyond all that, resentment keeps you from enjoying the moment you are in.
The combination of resentment and obligation say: I can’t let go of the past before I can move forward.
Willingness says, Actually, I don’t owe anything to the past. I am going to start right here and go on from here with all my faculties and all my joy.
I am letting go and moving on with a clean slate. I am going to choose to free myself up and live above the line. In so doing I am going to free up everyone around me.
No wonder it’s a relief to downsize. No wonder hoarding is such a problem. No wonder we have terrorists blowing things up. We carry so much obligation and resentment. We don’t let ourselves let go of what came before, and start fresh from here.
What if you called a truce?
What if you said – I will let you off the hook, and take myself off the hook.
It can be a unilateral truce. You can just do it yourself. You can…forgive.
Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive them, forgive the cultural story. Let it go.
That is where your freedom is, and what Traveling LIGHT means.
Starting in this moment, fresh. Beginners mind. Free of resentment, shame, blame, guilt, justification, explanation…all the stories about how we came to be here.
Instead the story becomes one of willingness and excitement:
Wow, look where I am and all that is possible in this moment, and look where I can go from here!
This is Traveling LIGHT
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Navigating the New Consciousness
Science and metaphysics have converged, telling us that there are two realities in play. One is the reality of form, the other the reality of energy. We have lived all of history in the belief that when we want to change or create something, we do that by physically manipulating and changing its form in the physical world.
Mind bending as it is, we now know that energy precedes form, and we actually operate in the world by working with the energy behind the scenes. The form follows.
This book is about how to do that.
Free yourself up. Learn how you can come from willingness more and more, rather than exhausting yourself, pushing through with your willpower. Learn how to use the energetics of flow to change your entire life.