My greatest excitement these days is learning to say yes to the magic of life, and stand wide open to what comes, trusting that I will be fine, even when I’m feeling fear. That I will be able to handle all the myriad emotion and growth any given undertaking will bring me.
I know that my freedom lies in the choice to let myself be fine, so I step up and try new and sometimes scary things.
Easy to say, right? Of course, actually doing it requires that I act in ways that are contrary to all the conditioned fear (and even, at times, terror) that lives in my body.
The closer to real I become, the more vulnerability I allow as I share what matters to me, the bigger the fear gets. It is a real thing.
The fear is there. I intend to honor it. I also intend to keep going.
That has been my big question. I have been learning the answer.
The core piece of this is the “knowing who I am.”
Through my deep immersion in the study of human behavior, I know that the story of “who I need to be” that so deeply informs my life is the one I am carrying at such an unconscious level that I only know it is there through the patterns I watch myself play out.
Which means teaching myself and leaning into the story that’s actually true. It is time for me to trust that life wants me here. That the small things I can do are enough. That there is, in fact, enough time. That I am, in fact, enough.
Now my personal task is to breathe it all in and accept, in every cell of my body, that I am a celebrated part of things, that I do belong, that life wants me here, that I am safe to unfold and blossom as I will. To let myself act as if that is true, so it becomes more and more true to me.
When I do, I am free to be a conduit to bring more joy, beauty, delight, humor, acceptance and so many other of the great things for which I want to be a conduit.