When you compare yourself with others, you will always come up lacking, because of an illusion.

There’s so much noise online about instant success and immediate manifestation – and what I now know, knowing many of these people personally, is that the ones who look like and talk like overnight successes have been working a long, long time to make it happen. And, things may not actually be happening in the consistently magical way that they lead you to believe.

A good friend was so excited about her big break on a radio show, where she made a spectacular offer and got two takers.

“I wonder what I’m doing wrong to excite the people enough to want to be part of the call and to take me up on this offer – even though it’s free and great value.”

I wrote a message back and then decided it was something I wanted to say in a broader forum. Many of you are heart-centered online entrepreneurs, so this will apply in that way for you. And, I believe it applies across the board in life. I know it’s a question I wrestle with, as I wrestle with not getting taken out of the game when I have an expectation (I tend to call it a hope but really, I know it’s an expectation) of a certain outcome that doesn’t happen. So – slightly edited, here’s what I said to her. And know this, as you read it…this is an open letter, and a reminder, to MYSELF, as much as to you or anyone else.

You know, I don’t believe that you are doing ANYTHING “wrong”. What I have learned is that it takes time to develop relationships where people buy. It’s always been true and it’s true now more than ever. My experience, and that of people I am close to in this online world, is that you will most likely make your sales to your own list, where people have watched you, followed you, and trust you.

So – it’s a matter of baby steps and consistency. And you are hearing this from a woman who is in the same frustrating place, so don’t think that I’ve got it all figured out. Staying on top of the financial game while making that happen…keeping your energy up to keep giving and giving when you begin to doubt whether people even want what you offer…we ALL share those doubts at times. Then that magical letter or email comes through that tells you how much you’ve changed someone’s life, and a little breath comes back in and keeps you moving.

Get people on your list, or into your sphere of influence however you do, from where ever you can. Certainly, doing that is an art that you can get better and better at. After all, it’s not free. You are asking them for something big – access to their inbox, when everyone wants LESS e-mail. So, gaining that first level of trust is a skill to develop.

Once they agree to trust you, start really giving them serious regular value. BE who you are and let them experience who you are. It will flow from there.

The challenge can certainly be not becoming so paralyzed by the financial challenges that you stop doing those things that have the long-term payoff. That’s where it becomes critical to stick to the foundational practices that keep you centered, grounded, and in touch with your personal guidance or inner wisdom, so you can hear the next step and be willing to take it. Your exercise, meditation, nutrition…all the basic pieces it takes to be truly healthy in mind body and spirit.

There’s so much noise online about instant success and immediate manifestation – and what I now know, knowing many of these people personally, is that the ones who look like and talk like overnight successes have been working a long, long time to make it happen. And, things may not actually be happening in the consistently magical way that they lead you to believe.

Don’t get fooled into thinking that they have some magic pill that you don’t have. They don’t. They started at a different time, for one thing, and stuff in the online world has shifted DRAMATICALLY even just in the past year. People are overloaded, tired of the hype and very, very leery of the offers. But that just emphasizes what is true, always. There’s really very rarely an “overnight success”.

It’s a long road of consistent action from the heart that is the most sure way.

As Brian Johnson says (although I think he was quoting someone else): “For the one who continues, failure becomes impossible and winning becomes inevitable.”

Life, in all its forms and aspects, is DEFINITELY a relationship-building track…and that takes time, consistency and consciousness.

Keep the long perspective. Have a meeting with your 110 year old self, and listen to what advice she gives you.

Stay open, listen to and follow your inspired nudges. Keep doing the things that let people see who you really are.

Meanwhile, make the actual income-producing activities the first business priority each day, so you stay afloat long enough for the payoff. (I see the absolute first priority before business being to maintain my personal practice).

And remember this – this was an open letter to MYSELF, more than to you or anyone else.

At the end of the day, don’t compare your INSIDES to anyone else’s OUTSIDES. You will always come up lacking, because of an illusion.

You’ve got a good heart. Run with it.