How Tight is Your Grip?

fire&water fingersWhat’s your story?
Who are you in the world?

I invite you to stop right here and take even a minute – or five – to pull out a piece of paper and answer that question. However the answer comes for you.

Who are you in the world?

Just let it flow. What’s your story? What are you doing here? How are things going? Are you lucky or have you had some bum raps? Are things easy or hard? Do you live in a supportive world or is it a dog-eat-dog place out there?

Go ahead, no one is going to read this but you. Pour it out.

OK, great – good job!

If you passed on that exercise, I’m guessing you may decide to come back to it after you read the rest of this. Whatever – it’s your life, and your story! Is your story that you don’t do those sorts of things? Or you don’t do them until you make sure they seem useful?

That’s the kind of story I’m talking about. It’s everywhere. You do or don’t do things because of all these stories you carry about who you are and how you do things.

Next question:

How attached are you to this story?

You may be holding on to this story with every part of your being, insisting that it is true, and continually looking for evidence to bear it out. If that’s the case I am guessing you passed on this little exercise.

Or – you may have a loose grip on your story, and be perfectly willing to let it go in favor of a better story that you find.

We are all somewhere on the continuum between those two. It’ll be different on different days, and with different stories. I work with clients who are all over the map, as far as how tight a grip they have on their story. And I will tell you two things I have seen:

1. The tighter the grip, the harder it is to change. Change is painful and takes a long time.
2. The looser the grip, the happier and more successful the person is. A person with a loose grip finds change to be relatively easy and painless.

The story is not you. You are just holding on to it. In whatever way you are, in this moment.

Next question:

Where is your story serving you? And where is it not?

Where are you showing up as a happy, connected, influential person, able to make a difference in the areas you care about, and where are you frustrated, bouncing against some sort of ceiling that is keeping you from being there?

Would you like to let life be easier? Here’s my invitation for you: Close your eyes and see your story as just what it is. A story. Everybody’s got one. Picture holding it out in front of you, like a book, and let it be just your story – not you. It’s not you, of course. It’s just a story that at this moment you are calling your story. How lightly can you hold it? How easy can you let it be to put it down, and choose a story that works better? Have fun with this one!

What about the deeper stories?

This is a powerful image/practice for the stories you’re aware of – your conscious stories. And if you’re feeling deeply frustrated or challenged in your life, know that 90% to 95% of your stories are operating beyond your awareness – unconsciously. That’s where the grip really counts…when you loosen that grip inside, you truly change your life.

When all this begins to make you wonder what stories are playing at a deeper level – your unconscious stories – contact me. Apply for a strategy session. We’ll find your deep non-serving stories, so you can decide when you’re ready to loosen your grip and let them go – and how to do it.

Let it go, and get down to the core of who you REALLY are, beneath all the story.


I would love to have your comments back on this post! (What’s your story about commenting?)
Cheers all around!